A Few Thoughts...

There are lots of people talking about Trayvon Martin. There are lots of people who have interesting, important things to say, and you should probably take some time to read them. Or this one. Or this one.  But I don't think that enough people are talking about it. So I wanted to throw in my two cents.

We all view the world through our own personal filter... every experience we have is colored by what we have learned and how distorted our filters have become. Because of the way I view the world, I think this whole thing is so sad. Sad that a bright, promising young man filled with potential and beloved by his family is gone. Such a loss to his family, and to the world that he might have changed for the better. How tragic.
And then we have George Zimmerman who did something that, by all accounts, was evil. Just evil. I want to cast him as a villain in this awful little drama. He should be twirling his handle bar mustache and have a KKK suit in his closet. It feels safer that way. After all, evil people you can pick out (by looking for the mustaches). Evil people you can avoid. And yet, I don't think he is probably an evil man. He is a man who loves his family and who is loved by them. He thought he was being a hero; his filter so cloudy and distorted that all he could see when he saw Trayvon was dark skin and a hoodie. A threat. George should be in jail. He NEEDS to be in jail, because he was so very wrong; he took someone from a family and from the world that cannot be replaced and denied a child the future that he was creating for himself. But he isn't an evil man. Just a man who doesn't see clearly. A man who made a mistake for which he needs to pay for the rest of his life.
Beyond making me sad and angry that this could happen to any child, this terrifies me. I look at my three beautiful children and I begin to panic. They are so protected in their little world right now. We live in a small town. Everyone with whom they interact on a daily basis knows and loves them. They are always with us, which affords them some protection. What happens when this little cocoon is gone? When they make their way into the wide world and expect to be treated with the love and respect that they deserve? When they expect to be seen for who they are and to be given the benefit of the doubt? How soon do I have to start dismantling their view of the world as a just and beautiful place? How do I introduce the idea that some people in this world won't see anything but their beautiful skin and interpret it to mean that they are bad? Up to no good? How long can I let them live in the world believing they are safe before I have to start to teach them what to do when they get pulled over.  How to make sure they aren't perceived as a threat so that nobody hurts them.  It makes me ill to think about it. To purposely burst their bubbles and rip apart their cocoons. It is something that millions of families, not protected by some privilege that they lucked out and were born into, do every day.  It is a decision that families have to make. To teach children to be afraid. To teach them to be careful walking down the street and driving their car and running and shopping in a store. To keep their manner respectful, their hands in sight and their movements slow.  To teach them that the world is a scary, unfair place full of people who will distrust them on sight.  It feels so sad and so wrong; I worry about how it colors the filters of the children who have to learn this. It isn't what I want for my children. It isn't what I want for any children.

So what do we do? All very well to complain and be sad, but it doesn't fix anything.  There are 3 things I'd ask.
1. Sign the petition.  George may not be an evil man, but some mistakes can't be forgotten about and can't be erased.  Whether or not he felt threatened by a scared kid who he chased down and eventually shot, he was not in danger. He was the aggressor. He needs to pay for what he took from Trayvon, Trayvon's family, and the world.
2.  This smart lady had an excellent idea.  Show some solidarity and replace your profile picture on F.acebook with a picture of you and your family in hoodies.
3. Try to influence the filters of those around you.  Talk to them about what it is like to live in a world where people don't trust you. Help them to understand that brown does not equal scary. To see people for who they are. To realize that their privilege exists and how to use it to help people be treated equally. To realize that racism is still very much a concern in this world, no matter who the president is.  I am hopeful that people can change, because I refuse to believe that so many people are really bad. That they want to distrust people. I hope that it is just that their view is distorted. And that we can give them some glasses.

Not such hard things to do. After all, someday it is going to be my son walking home from work. Walking home from school.  Thinking he is safe, just because he isn't doing anything wrong.

You and I

We are subtly trying to introduce the idea of them buying us a house in the south of France....

Leap of Faith