1 Year...Fair warning-longest post EVER

It has been one year since we saw this face for the first time:





I will never forget the amazing feelings that flooded through me that day. It is tradition in the blog/adoption world to tell the story of 'THE CALL' after you get your referral, but I never did. So, I'll share it today.

It was a day that I went in to work late (back in the days when I worked from 8-4:30 and one night a week from 12:30-9) and I had just finished making myself a pita sandwich and sweet potato fries for lunch. That's when I heard it: Nathan's voice saying loudly and repeatedly "Hold on to your potatoes, lady, we're going for a ride!!" It was the ring tone that he had recorded for me one night when I really had no hope we would actually get a referral. It was the ring tone I had assigned to our adoption agency's phone number. My heart dropped into my stomach. I told myself it was probably just Toni calling about a paperwork issue or checking in on us. No need to get excited. Don't get excited. I knew as soon as I heard her voice, however that this was no routine phone call. She said, "Kate, do you have someplace you can sit down? I'd like to tell you about your referral. You are going to be so blessed." I immediately started shaking. She asked where Nathan was, because she wanted to conference him in. I panicked. "He's at work! You'll have to Page him! I don't know if he'll answer! I don't know if he's in class! She asked for his number and put me on hold. This was beyond cruel. It was the LONGEST wait on hold I've ever had. While on I was on hold on my cell phone, our home phone rang. It was my friend and office mate, Mary. She said, "Toni just called our office looking for you! Are you getting your referral!?" I said, "YES! She won't tell me anything until she finds Nathan! Find Nathan!!" Since Nathan, Mary and I all work at the same place, I was thinking maybe she could run find him... or page him herself... or SOMETHING BECAUSE I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT OUR REFERRAL!!! I hung up with her and Nathan called on our home phone. I said, "Oh my GOD! Did Toni call you?!" He said, "No.... I just called to tell you what was for supper at the cafeteria tonight." "Oh my GOD! You have to get off the phone! Toni's going to have you paged! We're getting a referral!" Nathan said, "Really? Oh, okay. They're having tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches." "GET OFF THE PHONE!!!"

Finally, FINALLY, Toni got us both conferenced in. I was shaking uncontrollably. I grabbed a pen and paper to take notes (as if every second of that conversation isn't etched into my memory). Toni told us about the girl who would be our daughter. She was 8 months old, she said, and had a little smile in her referral photo. She said she was healthy, and beautiful and could sit up by herself. She told us about her history, and that she'd only been in the orphanage for 16 days. She said the doctors said she had a smiley face and that she was 14lbs 3 oz and 21.7 inches long. Her name was Tewabech. Toni said she'd e-mail us her picture and congratulated us.

I told Nathan, " You HAVE TO COME HOME SO WE CAN LOOK AT HER PICTURE TOGETHER! RIGHT NOW!" I then called one of the supervisors and blabbered something about Nathan NEEDING to come home. RIGHT NOW! RIGHT NOW! I'm sure she thought I was insane. I ran to the computer, thinking I'd get everything ready so that when Nathan got home we could just click on the file and download it. I called my mom to tell her the news and she started crying. Then, the unthinkable happened: my hotmail wouldn't open! It said hotmail service was unavailable! The whole point of hotmail is that it is ALWAYS AVAILABLE!!! I freaked out. I was already shaking and crying, as was mom, and I need to see her face. I NEEDED to see her. I asked mom to see if she could open it and gave her the password to my account. She was maybe a little flustered as well, as she insisted for about a minute that nowhere in hotmail or msn did it say she should sign in. She finally got into my e-mail and saw her picture. Mom gasped and screamed a little. "Oh KATE! She's so beautiful! She's so sweet! She has the most amazing eyes I've ever seen!" I couldn't stand it. I was literally pacing in little circles in the kitchen, almost spinning. Finally, my hotmail let me in. I opened the e-mail, intending to get the attachment to the point where I would just have to click on 'download' as soon as Nathan came in the door. And there it was. There SHE was. My daughter... with a little tiny hint of a smile on her face. Huge brown eyes. I felt like I was drowning. I have never been so happy/scared/in love/excited/terrified in my life. This girl? This perfect little sweet baby?! I wasn't good enough for this girl! There was no way I deserved this girl! Finally, Nathan got home. I showed him our daughter. We stared at her picture. We analyzed every detail of her face. We speculated about the hint of mischief in the face that we were sure meant she was going to be an exciting kid. We fell in love. We fell hard. Two months and one day later, we held her in our arms for the first time and knew that what we felt when we looked at the picture, as huge as it was, was a shallow and pale in comparison to what we felt when we held her. And now, 10 months and one day later, I can't believe how much more we love her.

We celebrated today by buying her a little pool, since it is 101 degrees here right now. Here is her first swim!