Things I don't want to forget about my almost 3 year old...

Funny things she says:
Replaces all for's with to's.. For example "Wait to me Mama!"
Replaces all f's with s's... for example "I need a sork!" or "Mama! You sone is ringing!"
Lemolaid instead of lemonaid
Docker instead of doctor as in "I needa go to a docker. I sick."
Rainbone instead of rainbow
Shucka up (she learned 'shut up' at daycare but it took us a long time to figure it out because she was saying it like this)
She says "My body says I needa go potty!"
Pezzle instead of puzzle
Pootie instead of poop

Ways she is becoming independent:
When she spills something, she goes right to get a cloth and clean it up.
She is getting better and better at using the potty.
She can get her bottom half dressed by herself.
She can use very nice manners when she remembers.
She goes and gets the box of toys she wants (potato head pieces, the kitchen box, art box, etc).
She helps do dishes and cook.

Funny things she does...
Fakes being sick in the morning to try to get me to stay home from work. For a week after she was actually sick she would be running around in the morning laughing and then say, "I no seelin' so good Mama. You stay home to me?" Melt me. I must admit, it sometimes works.
When she has a sore throat she has to check it if we ask her how she is feeling. So she fake coughs. It goes something like this.. "Hey Mimi! How are you doing today?" "Ummm... cough cough... I not seelin' so good" or " Cough cough....I'm great!"
She is obsessed with her purple sundress and sandals. Purple dress gets more hugs and kisses than I do when it comes out of the drier.
Meron needs to have Lolo ( doll she got from my mom and dad for Christmas) and the baby she got from Elizabeth each with their particular blanket in the bed and then Meron has to use the blanket she got when she was a baby. Lolo is closest to her and the baby goes on the other side.
She frequently rides her trike into the house and does laps in the kitchen. The expected response from us is, "A bike in the house?! That's CRAZY!" and if we don't say it, she will.

Favorites...
Her favorite movies are Toy Story, Toy Story II, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda, Ella Enchanted, Shrek and Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella.
Her favorite songs are "Say Hey"(Micheal Franti and the Spearheads) "Wavin' Flag" (by K'Naan)The Stray Cat Strut, Oh Susanna, and I'm Gonna Catch You(Laurie Berkner)
Favorite foods are ketchup, cabbage, carrots, hotdogs, pizza, beets, pickles, rice, peanut butter and honey sandwiches, olives, apples, spaghetti and pasta salad.
Favorite books are "Panda Bear Panda Bear What do you see?" "Moo, Baa, La La la", "How do I love you?" and "Heads" ( really cool book she got from great grandma )

Sweetness..
She gives the best hugs now... wraps her arms as far as they'll go around my neck and squeezes.
She says we're friends.
She asks, "Will you play to me Mama?"
She makes me pretend I am crying so she can comfort me.
She tucks her babies in and gives them kisses on the forehead.
She asks me "Will you cuddle me Mama?"
She says she loves me the whole world.

Gratitude

Don't worry. I don't plan on a regular 'soap box feature' on this blog... but this has been driving me CRAZY! If I offend you, I'm sorry. It is really not intentional, and rest assured that this is not something that is aimed at anyone with whom I interact on a regular basis...

I started thinking about gratitude when my sister told me that someone she knows fairly well and I know slightly told her how much she admired Nathan and I. Why, you ask? We're pretty average folk. Well, it seems she admires us so greatly because we adopted Meron. I believe the exact words were, "I just admire them so much. I could never do what they're doing!" Like many people who have adopted a child, it is a theme we hear often. We respond to it so much that it generally just generates mild irritation and a wrote response "No, we're the lucky ones." It usually is just part of being a family that sticks out a little bit, especially in our small town in the SD. This comment, however, really got under my skin. What, exactly, is so impossible about loving a child? Especially my child? We didn't adopt Meron to be charitable. It was a decision which was not based on charity but on the need to parent a child, and the fact that we were told that she was a child who needed some parents. I think it makes me so angry because I don't ever want her to feel like she has to be grateful to us for adopting her. She has gained a lot by being in our family, but we have gained more. We have lost nothing (well, sleep, leisure time and peace of mind, but we knew what we were getting into) and Meron has lost an entire family, culture and way of life.

Because of that little comment, the subject of gratitude has been something I've been mulling over for a while. And then yesterday, Nathan and I walked down to the park with Meron. We were sitting at the picnic tables eating some ice cream when a family caught my eye. It was two little boys, maybe 6 and 4, with their mom. The mom had brought her laptop down to the park and was watching "Everybody L.oves Raymond" episodes while her kids played. Okay, whatever. I can't believe that television show is that riveting that you have to haul your laptop to the park so you can watch it, but to each their own. Maybe she'd had a horrible day... one of those kids fighting-house a mess-washing machine blows up- nothing to cook for dinner kind of days and wanted to take her mind off of it all for a bit. I get that... it happens to everyone and all you want to do is crawl in a hole and be by yourself for a while. But, in the half hour we were sitting near her, not once did she look at her kids. They each came several times to try to get her to play with them, to push them on the swings, to watch them go down the slide- to ask her to be there with them. She never looked up from her show, even for a token "I'll watch you go down the slide from here." They were met several times with, "Just go play!" They stopped asking when she told them if they needed her to play with them then they probably didn't need to be at the park at all and they could all just go home. She sat and laughed at this stupid tv show... smiling and chuckling to herself and then frowned whenever her kids talked to her. It kind of broke my heart. For all of them. I think it might have been Toni Morrison that I heard talking about raising children. She said that the most important thing any child needs is to have someone who loves them so much that their face lights up when that child comes into the room. It stuck with me so much, because I know what she is talking about. The thing I love best about going to my parent's and grandparent's house is that when I see them, I see their face light up. It is a feeling of such love and security.

I watch people all the time that look at their children seldom, and usually with great irritation. I watch parents pick up their kids at daycare and greet them with a "Get your shoes. Hurry up!" instead of a smile and a hug. And I watched that woman light up for fictional people on a computer screen and give her children nothing.... even when they were just begging her to act like she liked them. It makes me sad for the kids... but I think it makes me almost equally sad for the parents. I mean, kids are awesome. You all know I am goofy/crazy/mushy in love with my daughter and that I think she is the best kid on earth. But the kids that these parents are missing out on are great, too! Or, they could be. It breaks my heart that people don't see their kids for the incredible creatures they are... because as Toni Morrison said, "Thin love ain't no love at all." Now, I've said it often to my circle of acquaintances, that my long, twisted, heartbreakingly painful path toward motherhood gives me a much different perspective than people who got pregnant when they didn't want to. Who have babies that they were ready for. Who have lives that they didn't want or choose. I understand that. And we all have days when we want to pull our hair out and throw things out the window and stomp our feet like a two year old.

But I'm going to start trying harder to make sure that whenever Meron comes into a room I light up. She is amazing, and special, and mine... and that is nothing short of miraculous. She deserves to know how incredibly grateful I am that I get to be the one who braids her hair and brushes her teeth and teach her silly songs and paint her fingernails for the 1000th time (and let her paint my fingernails.. which I don't necessarily recommend). And I hope that the lady in the park wakes up realizes how grateful she should be.